i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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