I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
