My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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