we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
