so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
