shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Randomize