how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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