dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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