; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
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