she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
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