i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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