I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
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