those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
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