Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Is it because I queefed?
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
