Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
