Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
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she smelled like a LAN party
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
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is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize