she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
