i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
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