What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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