Jerry, you need to find god
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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