You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
