so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
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