That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
