i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
