Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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