party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
my poor anus
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
