I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I'm getting married
To pizza
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
