Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Randomize
