All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!