Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
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Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
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Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"