i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
29 Super Simple DIY Drinking Games
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
29 People Who Do Dirty Things Just To Get Their Way
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.