We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
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She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
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Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.