oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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