Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Text me some of your sweat
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