You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
