Texts From Last Night

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  (540): View more from Virginia

  Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.

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  (540): Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do. http://tfl.nu/lc9b
  Replies (8) Good night (3520) Bad night (827)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....

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  (443): We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich.... http://tfl.nu/i7fe
  Replies (100) Good night (38702) Bad night (1396)
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  (432): View more from Texas

  My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT

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  (432): My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT http://tfl.nu/ckt8
  Replies (93) Good night (7551) Bad night (1698)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?

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  (412): At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks? http://tfl.nu/fbfw
  Replies (8) Good night (1318) Bad night (2920)
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  (867): View more from Yukon/N.W.Territory

  lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it

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  (867): lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it http://tfl.nu/o5td
  Replies (9) Good night (1785) Bad night (4302)
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  (318): View more from Louisiana

  You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys

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  (318): You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys http://tfl.nu/kc5i
  Replies (7) Good night (2461) Bad night (995)
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  (253): View more from Washington

  I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.

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  (253): I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight. http://tfl.nu/4pnr
  Replies (12) Good night (3403) Bad night (978)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..

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  (724): I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star.. http://tfl.nu/hv80
  Replies (9) Good night (2236) Bad night (742)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.

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  (813): I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly. http://tfl.nu/szur
  Replies (16) Good night (864) Bad night (2009)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.

  (1-617): View more from Massachusetts

  I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?

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  (617): The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow. (1-617): I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right? http://tfl.nu/ithm
  Replies (4) Good night (3146) Bad night (741)
• Favorite

  (408): View more from California

  You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.

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  (408): You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it. http://tfl.nu/jmvc
  Replies (6) Good night (1267) Bad night (805)
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  (949): View more from California

  am i gonna have visuals on this?

  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire

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  (949): am i gonna have visuals on this? (414): you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire http://tfl.nu/3sug
  Replies (13) Good night (1748) Bad night (616)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.

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  (206): Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended. http://tfl.nu/3jtg
  Replies (6) Good night (869) Bad night (715)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.

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  (850): I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes. http://tfl.nu/h93q
  Replies (2) Good night (286) Bad night (574)
• Favorite

  (323): View more from California

  Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?

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  (323): Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing? http://tfl.nu/7p41
  Replies (6) Good night (545) Bad night (460)

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