Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (803): View more from South Carolina

  i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (803): i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright. http://tfl.nu/lklv
  Replies (39) Good night (6924) Bad night (1667)
• Favorite

  (662): View more from Mississippi

  neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (662): neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe http://tfl.nu/zrqw
  Replies (7) Good night (4451) Bad night (560)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (248): Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace. http://tfl.nu/fcle
  Replies (20) Good night (10654) Bad night (1250)
• Favorite

  (859): View more from Kentucky

  I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (859): I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here. http://tfl.nu/288t
  Replies (4) Good night (1898) Bad night (731)
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (202): My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about. (202): Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ. http://tfl.nu/wtju
  Replies (7) Good night (3092) Bad night (873)
• Favorite

  (901): View more from Tennessee

  I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (901): I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking. http://tfl.nu/t4jf
  Replies (11) Good night (4931) Bad night (717)
• Favorite

  (870): View more from Arkansas

  I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (870): I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that. http://tfl.nu/0bow
  Replies (21) Good night (704) Bad night (1171)
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (817): Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly! http://tfl.nu/9don
  Replies (7) Good night (1305) Bad night (707)
• Favorite

  (812): View more from Indiana

  Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (812): Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker http://tfl.nu/znwm
  Replies (6) Good night (2278) Bad night (469)
• Favorite

  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (780): He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned. http://tfl.nu/9m93
  Replies (11) Good night (1004) Bad night (347)
• Favorite

  (607): View more from New York

  U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (607): U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl http://tfl.nu/xeyc
  Replies (9) Good night (392) Bad night (1525)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (503): A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong? http://tfl.nu/1dai
  Replies (10) Good night (677) Bad night (382)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (412): i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket http://tfl.nu/c231
  Replies (11) Good night (1135) Bad night (267)
• Favorite

  (210): View more from Texas

  I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (210): I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now. http://tfl.nu/7ifv
  Replies (0) Good night (452) Bad night (218)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities. http://tfl.nu/dlp3
  Replies (1) Good night (376) Bad night (203)

Randomize