Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(843): View more from South Carolina

I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month

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(843): I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month http://tfl.nu/ssqy

Replies (8) Good night (2590) Bad night (508)
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(+34): View more from Spain

Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.

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(+34): Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow. http://tfl.nu/qh3w

Replies (16) Good night (4221) Bad night (653)
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(919): View more from North Carolina

I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during

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(919): I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during http://tfl.nu/dav8

Replies (21) Good night (3346) Bad night (524)
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(202): View more from Washington, DC

Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion

(202): View more from Washington, DC

He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction

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(202): Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion (202): He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction http://tfl.nu/lcwv

Replies (59) Good night (704) Bad night (5243)
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(602): View more from Arizona

She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.

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(602): She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section. http://tfl.nu/g47a

Replies (44) Good night (2031) Bad night (6053)
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(951): View more from California

I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it

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(951): I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it http://tfl.nu/eb7i

Replies (5) Good night (986) Bad night (3252)
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(313): View more from Michigan

Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker

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(313): Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker http://tfl.nu/hydd

Replies (12) Good night (2874) Bad night (2660)
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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses

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(780): Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses http://tfl.nu/pn1w

Replies (24) Good night (2016) Bad night (623)
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(563): View more from Iowa

My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.

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(563): My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch. http://tfl.nu/5mz7

Replies (16) Good night (1001) Bad night (1505)
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(701): View more from North Dakota

I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.

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(701): I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this. http://tfl.nu/2wr9

Replies (1) Good night (1464) Bad night (606)
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(647): View more from Ontario

I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.

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(647): I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway. http://tfl.nu/bxvu

Replies (8) Good night (2405) Bad night (599)
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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?

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(902): Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having? http://tfl.nu/d7ao

Replies (36) Good night (547) Bad night (6459)
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(630): View more from Illinois

like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.

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(630): like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant. http://tfl.nu/ihww

Replies (7) Good night (309) Bad night (740)
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(701): View more from North Dakota

SEX BINGO!

(1-701): View more from North Dakota

Canadian or clown?

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(701): SEX BINGO! (1-701): Canadian or clown? http://tfl.nu/877n

Replies (6) Good night (455) Bad night (191)
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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me

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(+44): HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me http://tfl.nu/upe9

Replies (4) Good night (526) Bad night (199)

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