It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?