He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
21 Bartenders That Are Definitely Winning At Their Jobs
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?