By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
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Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
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I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
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