i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
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