upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
We left an ass print on the piano.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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