I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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