talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
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