Sponge bath it is.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
