He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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