Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
