People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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