Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
