I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Sober January is a disaster.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
