I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Randomize