Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
well you can't waste a boner
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
So much rum. So many feels.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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