who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Holy sore nipples Batman
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize