I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Randomize
