so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
