She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
