You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
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