Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Randomize
