so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I need water and some morals
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
