I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
