My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
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