before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
