to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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