you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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