Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
These tits shall not be calmed
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