possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
