the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
