Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Randomize
