Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
