exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
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