"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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