Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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