so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
