So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
