i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
