That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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