just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
she pinky promised me she was 18
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Randomize
