I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
