im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
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