the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't put those talents on a resume
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize