I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
